His own Garden

You know that image you see every spring, the one of the first crocuses of the year budding out of the lawn, the sun filters down on them, they are surrounded with the last remnants of the winter’s snow.

That is the best analogy I can come up with for the blossoming I have witnessed over the last 3 weeks.  It is easy to see cognitive development during the first year of a child’s birth.  There are so many rapid changes occurring that spotting the first word, the first sentence, watching the first concepts form is easy.

It changes as the children get older, the development still occurs but it is much slower and often lost in the frantic pace of life, even more so when you add in additional children.

Two, maybe three weeks ago someone reached deep inside Aiden’s brain and flicked a switch. He has exploded with intellect, questions flowing from him with incessant rapidity.  Complex questions that he thinks about, he strings together from his own experiences.  He will ask a question, then several days later expand on it after absorbing the original answer.  He is picking up on things that I did not know he knew about. In the last days he has asked me about the pupils in his eyes, what are the main organs in the body, what a parallelogram was (where the hell did that come from).

Each night while reading before bed, we can scarcely get through a paragraph without his questions leading him off in new directions.

I am truly enjoying this phase and even though it is sometimes difficult I am working very hard to not “blow him off” but to answer the questions and encourage the thought process.

Like the first buds of spring I am desperately curious to see what kind of garden will eventually grow from these early days of his spring.

Problems with Peer Pressure

We are having a problem with peer pressure in the house. It seems like every time we turn around somebody else is doing something cool and we have to follow along.  I am trying to be understanding with this. I am trying to remember my own childhood needs to fit in.  But there comes a time when blindly following your peers and their decisions crosses a line.

Last night that occurred and to be honest I really had hoped that I would see a blossoming level of maturity when it came to making this decision. I mean come on; she’s in her 30’s.

Did I mention I am not talking about my kids, but my wife?

Last night I worked late, when I got home the house was empty.  I started tiding up the kitchen and then heard the garage door open.  Several seconds later my eldest son burst through the door, a smile, stretching from earlobe to earlobe, was plastered across his face.  Racing in his footsteps was boy 2, also wearing a face splitting grin… and both of them were sporting mohawks. Coloured mohawks. Real honest to goodness, hair cut on the sides mohawks.

You see today is crazy hair day at school; traditionally we have used some blue hair gel to accent the boys for the event. Yvonne decided that in preparation it was also a good time to get the boys hair cut.  While she was there she ran into a neighbour that has an older boy.  B is 11 or 12 and plays competitive Atom-A hockey. Liam idolizes him.  Since crazy hair day was coming up, and the hockey playoffs his mother decided to let him get a mohawk.  Well monkey see, monkey do. Since B was getting one obviously so Liam required a mohawk as well, and what Liam gets so does Aiden.

I dunno where my strong willed wife disappeared to. The wife who refused to let her son grow out of his “mushroom cut”. The mother who fiercely guards her children; who enforces dress code and behaviour; who raises little gentlemen. (OK I know what happened to her; she got ground down by three boys).   But still… MOHAW|KS????

To be honest the hair will grow back and the boys are walking on cloud nine.  In the big scheme of things this has really made Liam and Aiden happy and really that is all that counts.  

I am just glad that the situation was not reversed and I was not the one sitting in the hair studio, because I am pretty sure had I done this Yvonne’s reaction would not have been the same as mine.

Valentine Day Post Report

After 13 years of marriage the wife and I are not huge into Valentine’s Day.  I am not saying that a friendly annual corporate reminder of a day of love is not nice, but the focus has become making, getting and distributing valentine’s for/on behalf of the kids.

Of course I would not be foolish enough to completely ignore the day and so I picked up a little something for my wife to remind her I was present in her life amidst the hockey, crazy hair days, and school cake raffles. She also picked me up a little something, a very nice box of premium chocolates hand made at a chocoatier(sp) here in town.  She even got milk chocolate for me because she knows I do not like dark chocolate.

To date I have not opened the chocolates, I was saving them for a special evening, a little romantic time between her and I.  I was figuring we could snuggle together under the sheets, I could slowly open the box and hand feed them to her, perhaps letting the heat of our bodies melt the chocolate, letting it drip down across her…  Well you get the point no need to go further right mom….

Well like I said, that was the plan. Unfortunately when I awoke this morning I noticed that someone had opened my box of chocolates… not only opened, but also consumed them (and yes I did feel like Papa Bear from Goldilocks).  At this point I would like to blame my golden-haired boys so as to not have to face the reality of the betrayal sitting in front of me.  But alas a quick inspection and I knew who our resident Goldilocks was.

“Member how I said that my wife had gotten “milk chocolate for me because she knows I do not like dark chocolate.”  Apparently she really does not like milk chocolate, because she did not really consume them, it was more a sampling of them all, and looking for one that might meet her needs.  So what was left was a box; wrapping shredded; cockroach husk’s of half chewed, slobbered, licked and pre-moistened, remnants of my valentine’s my gift.

Oh yeah I felt the love. (

A weekend in Ottawa

Saturday

5:00 AM The alarm goes off.  I stumble out of bed, get dressed and go start the SUV.  The temperature reads –26.  I wake up Liam and get him dressed of we go for a 6:00 AM Hockey game.

7:15 AM arrive home, decide to not wake the wife with freezing hands and start making breakfast.

7:45 AM the rest of the house wakes up, we eat.

9:00 AM I am heading out the door to CAN-Skate with Aiden and Keegan, Yvonne is staying home to assemble good bags with Liam.

11:00 AM Arrive home after skating, start assembling lunch, swimsuits, and party stuff.

12:00 AM head out the door to Liam’s Birthday Party.

1:00 PM Birthday Party at Kanata wave pool starts. 10 seven-year-old boys, plus our younger 2.  I set of parents stay and help (thank you C&G ).

2:15 PM The 2 little ones are done. Aiden had just finished vomiting because of swallowing a pool full of water.  We tried to warn him, but he was stubborn about it. Thank-fully we got him out of the pool. I take the 2 younger ones, dress them and entertain them in the pool foyer.

3:15 PM Party room. 10 seven year olds, they have a cd player and dance music. ‘nuff said

4:30 PM we are heading home

5:30 PM I get an IM from a buddy, his wife is sick and he has an extra ticket to the NickelBack Concert, asks me if I want to go. I’m in.

6:15 PM heading to the concert

7:00 PM concert starts

11:15 PM concert over. Car is in the back lot, 15 minute walk, wind howling, -35 I swear.  

11:45 PM still trying to get out of the parking lot( who the hell designed these exits) Car is not warmed yet, shivering uncontrollably.

12:00 Midnight  home, in bed, Still freezing, no wife to warm me up, she is sleeping with the eldest. Apparently she had a bad dream after watching a scary movie and moved to his bed. Takes me hours to fall asleep, music thumping in my head, ears ringing.  Maybe I am too old for concerts.

Sunday

6:15 AM stumble downstairs for Advil, apparently I am too old for this shit.  Pounding head-ache borderline migraine. I don’t know if it is from exhaustion or the fumes of the concert’s pyrotechnics display, or the loud music.

6:15- 7:15 AM Waiting for Advil to kick in, or the thing in my head to finish kicking it’s way through my skull.

9:00 AM I wake up. Blessed wife let me sleep in…Head clearer. Shit I nee to leave for Liam’s 10:00 AM hockey game. Get up, grab more Advil, grab kid, grab hockey bag, and stop at Timmy’s make it to game.

11:15 AM heading home from game.

1:45 PM heading out with Liam and Aiden to Ottawa 67’s hockey game. Liam’s entire team is there.  After the 67’s play, Liam’s team has a game, compete with announcer, spotlights and big time show.

2:15 PM Arrive at the game, boys are hungry, claim they need food( they ate at 12:00). Thank-fully Yvonne packed me a bag of snacks.

2:30 Boys are hungry

2:45 boys are hungry

5:00 Leave Aiden with some of the other parents and go get Liam suited up for his game.

5:30-6:30 PM Liam plays; a drunk from the previous game joins us to watch. He is a happy drunk. He spends the first 2 periods singing various Hockey songs and cheering wildly, for both teams.

7:00 PM shower, PJs teeth, bed for the boys.

9:00 PM phone rings, sister in law calling, someone has hit her car (she is ok).  

Oh no, Oh no, Oh no

As I wandered out of the bedroom this morning I heard my littlest calling for me.  I went in to get him up and he informed me that he was still tired.  I snuggled him under his covers and let him stay in bed. This whole “tired” business is new the last week or so. I think he got it from his brothers but he is milking the 2 year old “I am tired” independence thing for all it is worth.

Later as I was making the lunches for the boys I hear Keegan calling upstatirs. Here is the conversation.

Me: Liam can you help Keegan out of his crib.
Liam: He’s already out.
Me: Thank you for helping him.
Liam: I didn’t.
Me: Thank you for helping your brother Aiden.
Aiden I didn’t help him.
Keegan: (in a loud sing song voice) I do it myself


I know for a fact that when I tucked him back in for that extra 5 minutes of sleep I put the side of the crib up.

Oh no, oh no, oh no…

What were we thinking

I consider Yvonne and I to be intelligent people.  In a “not trying to sound conceited way” I think we are above the average.  I also believe that we are good parents and while 3 boys are a tad on the rambunctious side, that we have good children.  I believe that as parents we are making good choices for our children’s futures.

Yet there are times when I think to myself… what they hell are we doing.  Well actually there are times when Yvonne and I look at each other with that look in out eyes.

I can remember once walking down the street in Ottawa a big smile plastered on my face and a drum in my hand. Yvonne gave me that look.  (Hey I got it at a garage sale for 5 bucks what a deal)

But in this case we are going down this decision path together hand in hand, blinders on, refusing to acknowledge the future we are creating.

Here is Liam’s birthday gift.







Yeah.. I know, three boys… let’s get them instruments and teach them how to play….  You just know there is a set of drums in Aiden’s future.

So what are we thinking?  Well actually Liam has expressed an interest in learning how to play guitar.  The guitar is listed on eBay for .01 cent US.  (We won’t mention the shipping cost) so the price is right. At this point I am willing to invest in anything that does not revolve around video games or TV.

Besides which I believe that all people should be able to make music, and one of my biggest regrets is never learning to play something.  

EDIT: as a funny note, Yvonne and I both bid on guitars on eBay at the same time.  We are now getting 2 of them.  At least one should be large enough for me to fool around on.  Maybe an old dog can learn a new trick.  Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb….

IT'S HERE

"And I will love him and pet him and love him and squeeze him and call him
George."

Out with the Old, In with the same old crap

So Stephen Harper appointed his cabinet this week, after running a succesful campaign which was based and won on the premise that there would be no kickbacks, patronage, no scandals and there would be only honesty and fair play.

With week one halfway done I would like to point out the appointment of Michael Fortier to the position of Public Works Minister. I would also like to add that Mr. Fortier has never had any political experience; he has never run for office, his name has never been on a ballot. In fact Mr Fortier was Harper’s campaign co-chairman during the recent election.

And how is he getting the position you ask? With a political appointment to a seat in the Senate. Fortier claims he will run in the next general election.

Nice to see that the “New” Conservative Party stand against patronage and back-scratching almost lasted a full week.

Hey don’t get me wrong I don’t think the Liberals were angels either, but at least you knew what you were getting. Patronage is an established Liberal trait.

Well at least we know that we will be able to get rid of him soon in the first non-confidence vote. Of course that will be another 200+ million out of our taxpayers wallet.

Eighteen Years Ago

Eighteen years ago today I was faced with a choice.  Little did I know where that path would lead me.

Today is a very special day for me; it is an anniversary of sorts. Not the official anniversary that one shares with family and friends, but a quieter, private, special celebration.

I first met her in high school. I know it was in Grade 9, I am pretty sure it was in English class, though we did have Math together as well.  She sat in front of me.  

We also sat close together in Math class.  I sat in front of her this time.  She would sit with her head resting on her hand, her hair cascaded down in front of her, often sleeping.  When the teacher called on her and woke her form her afternoon slumber I would always whisper the answer to her.

Sometime in that first year of high school I asked her to a dance. She said no, I am sure it was done in a kind manner to let me down gently.

I recall showing my cousin her picture from our yearbook. I think it was the grade 10 picture. It had been pouring rain the morning that her picture was taken; she looked like a soggy cocker spaniel. If I close my eyes I can still picture that small black and white photo.

We drifted into the same social circle, I watched her, I made myself into a friend, it was not all I wanted, but it was better than nothing.  We spent time together; we worked on the school paper together.  

I watched her date others that I did not approve of; I dated someone she did not approve of. This caused so much friction in our friendship that we parted paths for a while.  

Whatever cosmic force controlled out lives at this point, whether it is karma, or fate, or circumstance, we always seemed to move back into the same circle.  

For 5 years we circled each other, drifting into and out of each other’s lives. When she needed me I was there for her, sometimes because I wanted to be the person she relied on, at other times because that is the price of friendship.

Eighteen years ago we formalized our relationship, we moved from friends to being a couple; five years later I married her.

As of today I have officially spent more of my life with my wife than without.  We have spent almost two decades together.  They have not always been easy times, but I have never had a regret; and given the chance, with the knowledge of how the path progresses, I would gladly make the same choice.

In the eighteen years we have been together she has taught me so much, she has taught me about commitment, she has taught me about perseverance, she has taught me about friendship, she has taught me self-confidence and how to laugh. Mostly she has taught me about love, love for her, love for our three boys.

I cannot remember, let alone imagine what life would be like without her by my side and for that I am eternally grateful.





  

Is it over yet?

Sing with me to the tune of “The Wheels on the Bus”

The colds in the house go ‘round and ‘round
‘round and ‘round
‘round and ‘round
The colds in the house go ‘round and ‘round
All through the winter.

The snot in the nose goes drip, drip, drip     
drip, drip, drip     
drip, drip, drip     
The snot in the nose goes drip, drip, drip     
All through the winter.

The phlegm in the chest goes hack, hack, hack
hack, hack, hack
hack, hack, hack     
The phlegm in the chest goes hack, hack, hack
All through the winter.

The pharmacist’s account gets bigger each day
bigger each day
bigger each day
The pharmacist’s account gets bigger each day
All through the winter.


Enough with the sick house already.  Every week since Christmas a different member of the family has been sick. I think we are passing the same cold around over and over and over.  

Maybe we will get a chance to shake it off when we visit our family in two weeks

The Negotiations Are Over

Ordered last Friday, to be delivered this Thursday. I am pumped, way pumped...



p.s. My BIL really, really deserves an I-Pod

Big Brother I dub thee George Bush

George Bush scares the hell out of me, and in our ultimate wisdom the Canadian populace voted to elect his clone as Canadian Prime Minister (all for the price of 30 silvers, ooops I mean $1200.00 a year in day care).

How can we have come so far in the last several decades towards open communication and scientific research only to be stifled by the current political agenda of our southern neighbor.

Here are some quotes taken from an article in the NY Times (registration required).

I will quote some of the good ones.

“In October, for example, George Deutsch, a presidential appointee in NASA headquarters, told a Web designer working for the agency to add the word "theory" after every mention of the Big Bang,”

"That was the time when NASA was reorganizing and all of a sudden earth science disappeared," Mr. Patzert said. "Earth kind of got relegated to just being one of the 9 or 10 planets. It was ludicrous."

“In another incident, on Dec. 2, 2004, the propulsion lab and NASA headquarters issued a news release describing research on links between wind patterns and the recent warming of the Indian Ocean.”

“It included a statement in quotation marks from Tong Lee, a scientist at the laboratory, saying some of the analytical tools used in the study could "advance space exploration" and "may someday prove useful in studying climate systems on other planets." “

“In October 2005, Mr. Deutsch sent an e-mail message to Flint Wild, a NASA contractor working on a set of Web presentations about Einstein for middle-school students. The message said the word "theory" needed to be added after every mention of the Big Bang.
The Big Bang is "not proven fact; it is opinion," Mr. Deutsch wrote, adding, "It is not NASA's place, nor should it be to make a declaration such as this about the existence of the universe that discounts intelligent design by a creator."


Yeah, let’s all see if we can bring back the dark ages…. Come join me tonight in Ottawa. I was thinking about drinking some mulled JD while clustered around a nice bonfire of books.

Don't bother calling. I know I am weird

Sorry I have not been around for a while, I got involved in a side project writing some fanfic. For the less Internet savvy here is the wikipedia definition of fanfic.
“Fan fiction (also spelled fanfiction and commonly abbreviated to fanfic or fic when used in a singular sense) is fiction written by people who enjoy a film, novel, television show or other media work, using the characters and situations developed in it and developing new plots in which to use these characters. Characters and props from more than one media work may also be incorporated into a single fanfiction (known as crossovers)”

You may also be wondering what the fanfic was about, those that know me could be thinking Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons or Star Trek.

Good guesses but wrong, actually we have been carrying on writing fiction involving Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.Yeah you read that right, I am writing fanfic about a yogurt drink.

How did this start? Well sit back and let me weave you a tale.

A while ago a friend introduced me to a virtual community, a website featuring a forum of gamers, mature gamers, who wanted to discuss gaming. I quickly became a part of the community and have spent the last 2 years posting and discussing with a wide range of personalities. The discussions have ranged far from just gaming; we discuss life, marriage, child rearing and a wide aspect of things. Sometimes the discussions are serious and emotional while we help members through relationship issues. Other times they are heated and fiery political debates. We exchange books we love, music we enjoy, recipes, and movies we thought were excellent. More often than not the intelligence and writing skill of the members explodes into a humour that leaves me giggling at my desk.

Last week a fourm member started a discussion about changes in our daily life between his grandfathers generation and his.

“So, every morning for the 60 years they were married, my grandmother made my granddad biscuits, eggs, and side meat for breakfast. This morning, as I was shoehorning Molly into her car seat, my wife sticks a 7 oz bottle of Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie into my coat pocket.That seem right to you?“
(he was not complaining about his wife not making him breakfast, but about the fast paced life we live in).

Since the forum has a lot of southern USA members the thread soon developed into a discourse about the virtues of “Biscuit’s and Gravy”, and the best way to prepare it.
Three pages later this post came up.

“Long live biscuits and gravy. Dannon Smoothies could never spawn three pages of posts.”

Quickly followed by

“Careful. Someone around here just might take that as a challenge, you know.”

I chose to be that person and issued the challenge. I started with a simple opening to a story, each addition needed to follow the plot of the previous post and somehow tie in a mention of Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.

Sometimes the whole becomes so much more than the sum of it’s parts.

I will share with you the story to date. Since you do not know the authors, cannot see the comments interspersed around the story posts it may lose something in translation, but what the hell this is my blog.p.s. you can go here to read it from the source.

Fanfic: Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothies

We knew it was going to be hard on the relationship when she took the 3-month contract working for an engineering firm in Iraq rebuilding the shattered oil wells. I had supported her and agreed that I would stay home with the baby while she went overseas. Aside from the fact that taking the contract would help her climb the corporate ladder inside the engineering firm, the best reason was that her income from those three months would be enough to move us out of our drab inner city apartment and allow us to buy a home in the ‘burbs to raise our son.
But 6 weeks into the deal I was ready to give up, being a single father was hard enough, but I desperately missed my wife. It was at this point, the hardest part so far, that she surprised me with a trip home.
She had silently come into the apartment; slipping her clothes off as she approached the bed, making just enough noise to wake me up. As I opened my eyes I thought it was just a dream as the moonlight cascaded across her skin, as soft and pale as a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.

Author: Garrad (me)

But a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie is not dyspeptic, and my wife, her gastrointestinal tract riddled by six weeks of nervous tension, a foreign diet, and an assemblage of microbes hitherto unknown to her pale Canadian sensibility, was. The dream rapidly devolved into a nightmare. A sticky brown triple-orifice-evacuating vomitorium of a nightmare.
"Can I help?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Something for your stomach?"
"Yes. I'd like a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie. Pocket-sized."

Author: Alien13z

"Get real, babe," I replied. "You know I don't roll wit no pocket-sized smoothies. What I gots fo you is man-sized, just the firmness you like, and it ain't fo yo stomach."
A gentleman never kisses and tells (let alone makes yogurt jokes...), but I knew when the sun came up the next morning that I'd be set for the next 6 weeks.
===============================
After I saw her back to the airport, I sat the baby in his high chair and set about finding him breakfast. The only thing I could find in the decidedly anemic fridge was a Dannon Light'n Fit Smoothie.

Author: Chumpy McChumpy

She would later recount to me, via her long and tortured letters, just how she came upon Vance... Vance, the twisted whelp of a man, the miserable hobgoblin, the lying reprobate; Vance, the man who stole my wife away, and whose life I am destined to squeeze from his body with hands bathed in fresh-spilt blood.
Yes, apparently the two traitors became fast friends while awaiting their flight, owing to a glib discussion over that damned drinkable yogurt:
"They got this new yogurt now. It's just like regular yogurt, but you can drink it. It's a yogurt you can drink."
"What?"
"Yeah. It tastes good. It's sweet, and you drink it."
"What's it taste like?"
"Mine tasted like cherries. It's good."
"I have to try some of that then."

Author: Lobo

The rising sun bathed the airport in creamy light as the conversation paused, the silence rich with unspoken possibilities.
She was the one to finally break the silence, ravenous for another taste of human contact.
"I wish I had a smoothie now. I didn't get to eat anything before heading out."
"You should go get some. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, Miss..."
"I'm married."
His smile hardly broke, but she noticed. Their eyes met and in that instant, she knew- they both knew, that what they were craving was far more than a convenient yet nutritious meal to start the day. They were both hungry, but not for food. They were starving... for love.
"I always remember to eat, myself. I usually just grab something after I work out." He said without missing a step. "I like to keep myself Light n' Fit."
"Like a Dannon Smoothie." She said with a smile.
If only she had remembered Breakfast.

Author: Elhatcho

"You know..." He began. "They have a little airport shop over near gate G4. I got a Clif Bar from there just about half an hour ago, before they delayed my flight."
She licked her lips hungrily, gazing deep into his eyes. He felt a stirring in his soul, a desire to take her, to wrap his arms around her waist and walk her to the counter, to hear her say those words that would fire white flame in his very soul.
"Just one Light 'n Fit Smoothie." she would say.
He imagined her bringing it to her lips, tasting the first drips of Strawberry on her tongue. She would consume all of its daily value of Riboflavin, Vitamin C and Potassium, before finally finishing it off, tossing the empty, discarded bottle aside, dabbing a spot of smoothie from the side of her lips.
A man near them coughed, a dry, hacking noise. He looked like he'd been subsisting on Nestle Instant Breakfasts.
"Can... you take me there?" She asked, placing her hand on her hip. "Can you bring me to the smoothies?"
"I think I can remember. What flavor do you like?"
"Peach passion." She smiled, pushing a strand of golden brown hair from her face.

Author: Prederick

"Please do not leave bags unattended." Squawked the nasal, static-riddled voice over the loudspeaker. A voice at once female and sexless. Grating yet reassuring. Loud, yet barely intelligible.
As he took her hand, leading her towards the gleaming oasis of between-flight refreshments, she felt her stomach do a flip. She stopped, gasping. Suddenly unsure of her motives, her desires or her morality. What had she become? Just a few short hours ago she had been reveling in the embrace of her beloved spouse. Drinking in the smell, sight and touch of him like a Cherry Flavored Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie. Yet this man, with whom she was about to embark upon an all expenses paid, one-way trip to the land of illicit yogurt-fueled passion was not her husband. She barely even knew who he was.
He sensed her hesitation. Knew instinctively that her desire was slipping away. Fading, like the label on a package of Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie left too long in the sun. Not wanting to loose one bit of the succulent fruit hidden at the bottom of her desire, buried beneath layers of devotion and duty, he grabbed her by both arms, pushed himself into her and placed his mouth on her parting, whispering lips.
"Don't ..." she breathed before his questing tongue silenced her.
She sighed and melted into his embrace. The two became one. Like yogurt mixing with milk in a bottle of Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie.

Author: Fletcher

It was then that the zombies chose to attack.
Without warning the glorious crystal skylight came crashing down all around them, followed by the bloated corpses of the shambling dead. As their putrid bodies struck the hard tile floor, decayed bones could be heard to snap; but still the undead moved. The crowded terminal filled with screams and turmoil as the grim host set about their task of gnawing the quivering meat from the bodies of the living.
Vance urged her to run, but she was held rapt by the plight of a fat, middle-aged woman wearing a blue dress and pearl necklace, which earlier Vance had pointed out and, with that exotic curl of the lips, said, "Come with me, my love, and I shall shower you with a thousand such pearls!" The woman clutched to her enormous bosom a half-eaten container of Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie. A zombie had fixed its viselike hands about her arms, and her screams sounded above the uproar as the chattering teeth ruptured her belly. Amid a spray of blood could be seen thick, yellow sheets of fat, which slopped onto the floor like so many dead fish. The necklace broke, and dozens of of pearls rained down upon the bloodstained tiles. Then came the organs. The zombie decorated the terminal with the fat woman's insides, and her engorged stomach slid to a rest right near Vance's feet.
She looked down at the stomach. Its thick membrane had been punctured by gnashing teeth, allowing the contents to spill out. Oozing out of the bloody sack was a viscous, white sludge, and suspended in it were dainty pieces of delectable fruit; Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie, set loose from its digestive confines by the eager maw of a dead man.
She screamed. She ran. And Vance ran with her.

Author: Lobo
They ran past the endless row of ticket counters, each one disgorging a stinking, groaning horde of the undead from the luggage loading bays. All around them, other travelers ran screaming, discarding their carry-on bags and John Grisham novels in the attempt to faster flee the shambling apocalypse that followed.
"There!" Vince shouted, and elbowed his way through the panicking mass toward a door marked "Employees only."
"We can't!" she screamed. "We aren't airport personnel! Those facilities are intended to assist in the smooth functioning of the airport and providing an enjoyable travelling experience for all customers! It would be inappropriate to use them for our personal convenience!"
"Did your brains already get eaten, woman?!" Vince screamed, and kicked the door in. Beyond was darkness and the faintly threatening mechanical drone of luggage conveyors. He went in.
"Oh," she moaned as the gnashing zombie mob slowly closed in on her, "I sure could use the sweet burst of healthy energy that a Dannon Light 'n Fit Smoothie provides right about now."

Author: Brennil

The thread, and the story continues…