Eighteen Years Ago

Eighteen years ago today I was faced with a choice.  Little did I know where that path would lead me.

Today is a very special day for me; it is an anniversary of sorts. Not the official anniversary that one shares with family and friends, but a quieter, private, special celebration.

I first met her in high school. I know it was in Grade 9, I am pretty sure it was in English class, though we did have Math together as well.  She sat in front of me.  

We also sat close together in Math class.  I sat in front of her this time.  She would sit with her head resting on her hand, her hair cascaded down in front of her, often sleeping.  When the teacher called on her and woke her form her afternoon slumber I would always whisper the answer to her.

Sometime in that first year of high school I asked her to a dance. She said no, I am sure it was done in a kind manner to let me down gently.

I recall showing my cousin her picture from our yearbook. I think it was the grade 10 picture. It had been pouring rain the morning that her picture was taken; she looked like a soggy cocker spaniel. If I close my eyes I can still picture that small black and white photo.

We drifted into the same social circle, I watched her, I made myself into a friend, it was not all I wanted, but it was better than nothing.  We spent time together; we worked on the school paper together.  

I watched her date others that I did not approve of; I dated someone she did not approve of. This caused so much friction in our friendship that we parted paths for a while.  

Whatever cosmic force controlled out lives at this point, whether it is karma, or fate, or circumstance, we always seemed to move back into the same circle.  

For 5 years we circled each other, drifting into and out of each other’s lives. When she needed me I was there for her, sometimes because I wanted to be the person she relied on, at other times because that is the price of friendship.

Eighteen years ago we formalized our relationship, we moved from friends to being a couple; five years later I married her.

As of today I have officially spent more of my life with my wife than without.  We have spent almost two decades together.  They have not always been easy times, but I have never had a regret; and given the chance, with the knowledge of how the path progresses, I would gladly make the same choice.

In the eighteen years we have been together she has taught me so much, she has taught me about commitment, she has taught me about perseverance, she has taught me about friendship, she has taught me self-confidence and how to laugh. Mostly she has taught me about love, love for her, love for our three boys.

I cannot remember, let alone imagine what life would be like without her by my side and for that I am eternally grateful.